..I will tell him all the troubles I have had,And since he doesn’t hear,At least he won’t feel bad.(to the dying Don Quixote)When I first got home...y wife Teresa beat me,But the blows fell verylightly on my back.She kept missing ev’ry other strokeAnd crying from the heartThat while I was goneShe’d gone and lost the knack!(Spoken to the Padre)Of course, I hit her back, Your Grace,but she’s a lot harder than I’m,and you know what they say...“Whether the stone hits the pitcheror the pitcher hits. .. Ababysitter?!"My dads face smoldered and my moms eyes got that dangerous look in them.I looked down at the floor again so they wouldn't see the defiant angerburning in my eyes.Suddenly the doorbell rang."That's probably her now," my mom said as she headed towards the door."HER?!?!?!?!?" I almost screamed. I turned to look as my mother openedthe door.The girl in the doorway was really very pretty. Almost my height, a bitthinner, but built up in ways best left to the imagination of. She paused for a second and then continued. ‘Look, if this is some kind of joke its really going to hurt my feelings.’ God that made me mad. I had been sitting down, but now I was standing. ‘Don’t you know me better than that!’ I yelled. ‘Do you think I would do that to you? Look, if you don’t like me just say so and I will leave. But drop this bullshit about knowing how I feel about you. Because you don’t.’ I regretted saying it as soon as it was out of my mouth. I was trying to figure out. . "You just turn around,mister, and march yourself up to the bedroom and be quick about it.Pronto, do you hear! You can sit on your time-out stool in the cornerfacing the wall and wait for me. There'll be no lunch today, buster, sonaptime will be extra-long, do you hear me? Now start marching! You'veearned yourself not just a spanking this afternoon but a visit to yourpotty-room for a soapy mouth wash. Imagine, Ginger, a naughty word infront of his mother! Shameful! And no more pouting with.
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